There’s nothing like a good old safety alert of an attempted robbery complete with stun gun one block from your old house to get you excited to go back to school. A lot of my friends seem to have some kind of safety awareness program built into their abroad orientation so I’ll take time to outline my own method for being safe. If you’re going to be at Tufts take notes. If you’re a hardened Somerville criminal scouting future victims via tumblr, stop reading. Thanks!
It all boils down to two tactics:
- Once right before break I was walking out of Soundbites alone post breakfast…I don’t remember why I was alone. That was dumb.
Okay, new first point: Always use the buddy system
- Anyways I was walking out of Soundbites and a random man asked me for some money to which I apologetically told him I don’t carry any cash and to which he unapologetically said “Smart thinkin hun, that’ll help a girl like you not get mugged around here.” I didn’t really think about it at the time I just awkwardly ran away into Ball Sq Cafe (edit: I remember now, I was alone because Eric left me when I went to the bathroom to go say hi to Stella and Dan who were next door. Filed under: great friend). I guess the moral of that story, according to my new friend at Soundbites, is that bums in Somerville apparently can smell ca$h mONeY and will attack only if you have it on you.
tl;dr Don’t carry cash
- Last week I was watching some episodes of Walking Dead on TV which is kinda like Lost… but with zombies… it was pretty good but then I got too scared and squeamish. That “too scared and squeamish” happened at this one part when, to get past hundreds of zombies, the surviving people rubbed dead people on their clothes to make them smell dead like the zombies so they could safely walk past them. It was like camouflage but completely revolting. Anyways, I figured I could do the same in Medford but with Red Sox apparel. I just can’t imagine a true Bostonian giving a Red Sox fan trouble. Has anyone in Boston ever gotten mugged while wearing a Red Sox jersey?? I’m genuinely curious.
tl;dr Walking Dead is an interesting show, but too graphic
So I’ll be the girl walking down Boston Ave from Halligan in the Red Sox cap with no cash and a newly-developed fear of random zombie attacks.
Or I’ll just buy pepper spray.